


the moon and his star

by vennilave



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Levi has a baby, Sad Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Smut, Suggestive Themes, halloween and a baby, oc struggles with pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vennilave/pseuds/vennilave
Summary: Some drabbles and stories with Levi, you and baby kaiya.
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 28
Kudos: 247





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just a Levi and his baby daughter. I’m on tumblr at venilavee

Levi feels about five different pairs of eyes on him immediately once he enters the restaurant. Specifically, five different pairs of eyes zero in on the mobile carrier on his chest and the baby pressed against him.

His baby, Kaiya, who is currently dressed in a pumpkin outfit that you had insisted she wear. A small green hat with fake leaves sits on top of her dark hair as she peers up at him curiously, dark eyes wide. 

It’s Halloween, neither you nor Levi had felt much like cooking for dinner, and so he had ordered Thai food for pick up. Which is why he’s standing in the restaurant with his baby girl against his chest, her bright orange costume peeking out and attracting the adoring gaze of strangers.

Kaiya only gives him a gummy smile, paying no mind to any of the noise around her. After all, she has noise cancelling headphones on. She’s only ten months old, soft and strong. She’s been crawling all over the place, sometimes places that she shouldn’t. Levi thinks she does it to tease him. Because she always has that twinkle in her eye when she does.

Levi has a hand on her back protectively, despite the fact that she is strapped to his chest and facing him. Kaiya gurgles under her breath when Levi moves forward in line. One person stands in front of him, but he can tell that Kaiya is about to start getting fussy from the way her brows furrow together tightly.

He should’ve probably told you to come inside with him. Levi wordlessly pulls out Kaiya’s lion toy from the baby bag draped over his shoulder and gently places it in her arms. She hums, irritation vanishing quickly and gives him another gummy smile, showing off her three baby teeth.

He can’t help but pat her head gently. Leaves and all.

Levi put up a fight for Kaiya, claiming that she’d be annoyed being in the costume for this long. You and Levi had taken her trick-or-treating up and down the block, much to Levi’s chagrin. But the way Kaiya would beam at whoever opened the door made him think that  _ maybe, definitely,  _ it was worth it.

You had insisted on taking her to the restaurant in her costume, and Kaiya had been perfectly content to do so. You always say that she inherited his mild mannerisms- she had cried quite often when she was a newborn, but slowly it had ebbed away. Now, she mostly just cries when she is hungry or when she wants her mama or daddy and they’re not around.

The back of Levi’s neck heats up when he realizes that people are  _ still _ staring. Kaiya hides her face in Levi’s chest, holding her stuffed lion close. Levi curls a hand around her cheek to comfort her as he’s called up in line.

He removes his hand from her cheek for just a second, to pull his credit card from his wallet and hand it over. The young woman at the cash register, probably no older than nineteen or twenty, coos at Kaiya with a big smile. Levi turns on his side so Kaiya can see her without craning her neck.

Kaiya looks up at Levi and then at the woman before giving her a shy smile and turning her head away.

“Oh! She’s shy,” The woman beams.

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t even know what being shy means,” Levi says bluntly.

The woman looks flustered for a minute before rolling her eyes at him and handing the order over in two plastic bags. She waves at Kaiya, who offers her another small smile.

“Let’s go home, Kai,” Levi murmurs, brushing his lips to her forehead fleetingly, “Let’s get you out of this pumpkin thing. Can’t believe your mother did this to you.”

Levi buckles Kaiya into her car seat and places the food next to him in the backseat. You wait for him to close the door and look back at your two loves with a smile.

“Everyone was staring at her,” Levi complains, giving you a glare. As if it’s  _ your _ fault.

“Because she is adorable,” You roll your eyes, “Especially in her pumpkin costume.”

“She hates it. She told me.”

“Oh alright. Levi Ackerman, baby translator? I can believe it. You’ve gone soft,” You tease.

He doesn’t object. Instead, he pokes Kaiya’s cheeks silently and brushes a thumb over her forehead as you pull out of the parking lot to go home.

Kaiya offers him a smile so wide that her eyes look like crescents, and Levi feels like his world has tilted on its axis for a second. He’ll never tire of it.


	2. stormy skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's not the first time you're late from work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote this because i couldnt sleep last night due to the current us election… enjoy  
>  (im vennilavee on tumblr)

Levi peeks his head into Kaiya’s bedroom, and sees her fast asleep in her bed. She’s surrounded by pillows, her lion stuffed animal, as well as her butterfly, shark, and flower pillow. It’s been about an hour since she fell asleep for her afternoon nap. 

He thought he heard a noise on the baby monitor, but it was nothing. Just her shifting in bed.

Her face is squished into the pillow and Levi can’t help the small upturn of his lips at the sight.

Kaiya’s already almost two years old, and neither you nor Levi can quite believe it. Levi claims that she’s the spitting image of you, but you claim the opposite.

You’re both right.

Levi’s career allows for him to work from home for most days. You and Levi had spent the better part of two weeks setting up his office, back when you had first moved into your new home. Before Kaiya was born. He has two monitors on his mahogany desk, a sleek keyboard and an even sleeker mouse with his laptop plugged into the dock.

A photo of you and a photo of Kaiya sits next to the monitor on the left, and a photo of the three of you next to the monitor on the right. The baby monitor is in front of him, just in case Kaiya wakes up before she is supposed to.

He’s eager for Kaiya to wake up and for you to come home, and he puts his glasses on to get to work and hopefully end his day early.

***

Levi shoves a hand in his hair, expelling a deep sigh as he logs out of work. He stretches his arms and his legs, only to be alerted by a slight vibration from his phone.

It’s a text from you:

**angel:** gonna be late today…

**levi** : again?

**angel:** yes :(

Levi sighs to himself, waiting a few seconds before replying.

**levi:** ok, be safe 

It’s the third time this week, and he’s lost count of how many times you’ve come home late over the last few weeks. At first, it hadn’t bothered him. But then it became a habit. And then Kaiya was asking for you during dinner.

That was the first of a few fights. They usually ended with you promising that you’d be better about it and draw the boundaries you needed to draw.

And yet… 

Levi hears Kaiya waking up on the baby monitor, her soft coos and calls of ‘daddy’ and ‘mommy’ nearly echoing in the silent room. He turns the monitor off and walks upstairs to her bedroom, where he finds her sitting up. Her smile is sleepy and she makes grabby hands for him with her stuffed lion tucked under her arm.

“Daddy,” She beams at him.

“Slept well, Kai?” Levi asks and she doesn’t reply, instead tucking her face into his neck. Levi brushes his lips over her forehead as he carries her downstairs. She’s still warm from her nap, grey eyes blinking sleepily. 

Levi gets started on dinner with Kaiya on his hip and feeds her spoonfuls of sauce and bits of meat here and there, which she accepts eagerly. She smiles widely with her nose scrunched when she likes it. You’d claim that her smile is identical to Levi’s, but he disagrees.

He’d tell you that everything good about Kaiya comes from  _ you _ .

Levi gets lost in his thoughts of you, wondering if you’re on your way home. He’s having trouble remembering the last time you both had gone to bed together without the melancholy of your work schedule hanging over your head.

He sighs. Kaiya hears him and looks up curiously.

“Daddy?” Kaiya says, patting his cheek, “Mama?”

“Mama’s comin’ home late, kid,” Levi says, “Again. Do you miss her?”

Kaiya lets out a sigh suspiciously similar to his.

“Yeah. Me too, kid.”

***

By the time you come home, it’s well past dinnertime. Levi had left out a plate for you, but by now, it’s cold. You kick your heels off and place them in the closet neatly, grimacing at the covered plate on the dinner table and your empty living room.

You can almost taste Levi’s disappointment. But you just want to see Kaiya, you know she’ll be able to cheer you up.

What a shitty day. Shitty week. Shitty  _ month _ . With every day that goes by, you’re getting closer and closer to telling your boss to shove his foot up his ass. 

You immediately head into Kaiya’s bedroom, where you’re certain Levi is telling her a bedtime story. You’re not even sure what time it is- is she asleep? Are you too late?

You hate bringing the smell of work home, preferring to change into comfy clothes before greeting Kaiya and Levi with a kiss. But you can’t wait, not tonight. Not when you know that Levi is upset with you and when you miss Kaiya so much that you  _ ache _ .

“Kaiya?” You whisper, “Kaiya, baby?”

“Mama!” Kaiya squeals, looking up from the book that Levi’s reading to her, “Hi, mama!”

You kneel next to her bed and open your arms for a hug. She jumps into your arms happily and you kiss her cheeks and her forehead as she giggles wildly.

“I missed you, baby,” You mumble, holding her close, “So much.”

You pull away and cup her cheeks tenderly, rubbing with your thumb. Kaiya only looks at you with the same disarming silver eyes that belong to Levi. Her eyes are soft when she looks at you, her grin bright and toothy.

“Daddy, story,” Kaiya says, pointing to Levi.

“Can mama join?” You ask quietly, looking at Levi.

“Don’t be stupid. Of course mama can join,” Levi murmurs, patting the spot next to him.

You don’t even admonish him for saying ‘stupid’ in front of your daughter and he says nothing about you wearing your work clothes in his daughter’s bed.

You kiss the corner of Levi’s mouth, taking his hand in his as he continues to read to Kaiya. He squeezes your hand every so often, listening to the way Kaiya gasps and giggles at the story. Levi doesn’t tell the story with much fanfare or gusto- he tells it just the way Kaiya likes. With the always present dry intonation of his voice.

You think it’s Kaiya’s favorite sound in the world.

Kaiya points at the picture in the book and giggles, looking up at you for confirmation that you can see what she’s pointing at. You hold her hand and laugh with her too, melting at the way her smile holds your world in it.

After a few more pages and a few more laughs, Kaiya begins to grow tired. She rests her head against your arm, stifling a yawn. You rub her back to lull her into sleep but she tries to stay awake.

“Are you sleepy, Kaiya baby?” You coo, kissing her forehead.

She doesn’t reply, instead closing her eyes. It only takes a few more forehead kisses and back rubs for her to fall into deep sleep. You smile at Kaiya and look at Levi, offering him a small smile as well.

“Did you eat?” Levi asks, nudging your shoulder and gesturing for you to get up.

“No, I put it in the fridge. Not really hungry. Just want to be with you and Kaiya,” You murmur.

Levi gives you a long stare and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t be stupid. Go eat. I know you probably haven’t eaten since noon. Because of your shitty boss,” Levi says pointedly.

You sigh, heading into your bedroom to change out of your work clothes and wash up before heading downstairs.

He doesn’t join you.

You eat quickly, somewhere halfway between enjoying and savoring all of the flavors and barely chewing so that you can go upstairs to talk to Levi. You wash the dishes in the sink quickly before double checking the locks and heading to your bedroom.

Levi’s in bed, reading a book and casts a look of acknowledgement to you. It feels odd, devoid of his usual affections. You know why. Because he’s upset with you.

You curl next to him, cupping his cheek to get him to look at you. Levi sighs heavily and casts his book on the nightstand.

“Your job is fuckin’ shitty,” Levi says without missing a beat, “Kaiya misses you. A lot.”

_ I miss you. A lot. _ The words hang in the air.

“I know, I’m sorry. I hate it,” You whisper, crumbling under his scorching gaze, “I didn’t want-”

“So? What are you gonna do about it?” Levi asks flatly, voice full of ice, “It’s your dream job, right?”

It unnerves you.

“Levi,” You say hollowly, “Don’t be like that-”

“Not bein’ like  _ anything _ ,” Levi says easily, “Your daughter fuckin’ misses her mama. This is the first time you’ve tucked her into bed properly in  _ who _ knows how long- she asks for you all the time, always asking for her mama. And where is her mama? At  _ work _ -”

“Levi,” You beg quietly, “Levi,  _ stop _ -”

“How many times are we going to have this conversation?” Levi says hotly. You raise your eyebrows when you hear the emotion in his voice. He’s clearly been thinking this for quite some time.

“I’m  _ sorry _ ,” You plead, taking his hands in yours.

He pulls them away from you and your lips part in a surprised ‘o’. You’re quickly confronted with how much you’ve been hurting him.

“Levi, I’m gonna fix it. I swear- I’m gonna fix it, I’ve already talked to my boss a-and told him I can’t do this anymore-” You blubber, tears forming in your eyes.

“Can’t do  _ what _ anymore?”

“The late nights-”

“ _ Yeah _ , they’ll stop for what? A week? Then start back up again,” Levi scoffs coldly, “You  _ promised _ you’d fix this. So  _ fix _ this.”

“Levi- stop,” You mumble, “You’re being mean-”

You can’t help it- you start to cry harder, fat tears pool in your dark eyes and roll down your cheeks, as your bottom lip trembles. You let out a loud sob and turn away from him, not able to meet his eyes. Levi blinks at you, almost nervously. 

“Shit,” Levi says under his breath, “ _ Shit _ -”

He wipes your tears from your cheeks and pulls you into his chest, his chin over your head. His arms are tight around you, heartbeat lulling you into calm. Neither of you say anything for a few minutes, despite the apology on the tip of his tongue.

Levi hates seeing you cry, especially when he is the cause of your tears. But he knows, even if his words were cruel, the problem still exists.

It takes a few minutes for you to breathe and for your sobs to reduce to sniffles. 

“I’m trying, baby,” You mumble, “I told him I need to scale back. But- he’s just  _ so _ ,  _ fucking _ -“

And then you start to cry again. Levi wonders if there’s more to it than you’ve been saying. He wonders if there’s more of a problem than just late nights. Levi rubs your cheek with his thumb, giving you a few more minutes to gather your thoughts.

“Is something else going on?” Levi asks, most of the heat gone from his voice.

You’re quiet again, looking up at him. Trying to figure out how to allow the words to bubble up and leave your throat.

“What is it, angel?” He asks, cupping your chin for you to meet his eyes.

“He’s just so,” You sigh, “He’s so…  _ mean _ . He talks down to me sometimes when we have group meetings- and I don’t even realize until the meeting’s been said and done.  _ God _ , I hate what a boys club it is there.

_ Oh _ , and his favorite is that one guy who  _ always  _ steals credit for the work that I do- and he said he’d dock my bonus if I didn’t start picking up the slack, but I  _ am _ , I’m picking up  _ everyone’s _ fuckin’ slack and all I’m good at doing is hurting you and hurting Kaiya- and I n-never wanted to be like that. 

I never wanted to be the person who put their career in front of their family. I should be able to have both, but not- not like this.” Your rant ends with a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill over.

“Angel,” Levi breathes, kissing your forehead, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought I could handle it,” You mutter honestly, “But I can’t. I need to get out, Levi.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Levi says, pressing his forehead to yours.

“You didn’t. It’s okay, I get it. I get it.”

“I should’ve helped you. Not yelled at you.”

“How could you know? I didn’t say anything,” You scoff, slipping your hand under his shirt to rub his chest. You missed him, and  _ this. _

“Thought we said no secrets,” Levi says lightly, “No more. We’ll figure it out.”

“‘M not working for most of next week. I need a break,” You say, pressing yourself closer to Levi.

“Good. We’ll figure it out, alright?” Levi says and squeezes your hand. He dips his head for a kiss, and you can taste the sweetness of his unsaid apology.

“You, me and Kaiya?” You ask with a small smile.

Levi nods, quelling your fears with a series of featherlight kisses that deepen quickly. His hands wander your ribcage, holding you close and warming you up from within. Silver eyes melt into your brown, and you’re reassured by his steady strength.

You’ll be okay. You, him and Kaiya. You’ll be okay.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. skinned knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaiya has a small mishap at the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt sent in on tumblr!

Kaiya’s favorite time of the year is the fall- the air is crisp, she’s cozy but not cold and she loves watching the sunset from her favorite park. Most of all, she loves being at the park with her parents- Levi is close to her but not hovering. She explores and runs around, shyly saying hi to some kids.

Levi’s glad she has most parts of your disposition and not his. 

He takes a video and a photo of her playing with the other kids to send to you. Hopefully it brightens up your day- he had taken a day off and you were still working. You reply to his text instantly with a dozen heart emojis. It makes his lips quirk up.

Kaiya stands at the top of the obnoxious, orange slide, calling for him to look at her. Her arms are up in the air excitedly, eyes shining brighter than the sun itself.

“Daddy! Wook me!” Kaiya calls happily.

“I’m lookin’, Kai,” Levi replies, waiting for her at the bottom of the slide. Kaiya shrieks happily before she emerges at the end of the slide, her cheeks warm with happiness. She lifts her arms for him to carry her and Levi spins her around, to her joy. He lifts her up above his head and she squeals-  _ “Daddy! Daddy!” _

Levi wonders how he can love anyone as much as he loves her. Each word she says, each smile she throws his way makes his heart tug.

“Daddy, I go play,” Kaiya informs him, sliding down his chest to the ground. He calls for her to be careful as she runs off to the blacktop with the other kids. 

Levi sees it happen before it does- he sees her in his mind’s eye tripping over her clumsy feet on the blacktop. And then it  _ does _ happen, right in front of his very eyes. Levi winces when all of the kids go silent, even Kaiya. And then Kaiya looks down at her freshly skinned knees, and Levi is already sprinting towards her before she starts wailing.

“Daddy,” Kaiya cries, her eyes swimming with unshed tears, “I hurted!”

“I know, sweetheart,” Levi murmurs, “Don’t look, baby. Daddy will fix it.”

Levi pulls out the small first-aid kit from the to-go bag he brings with him whenever he takes Kaiya out. He takes out some ointment and her favorite animal printed band aids, deciding on a giraffe print for her knees. Levi murmurs soothing words to her to distract her and calm her down as he cleans her knees up with a mini bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

“Daddy. That place not nice,” Kaiya complains, pointing to the gravel. Levi suppresses a snort and rubs her back when she starts to sniffle once more.

“It’s okay, Kaiya. Daddy fixed you up,” Levi murmurs.

“Daddy! I want kissy,” Kaiya pouts, pointing to her knees. Levi ignores the concerned gazes of the parents beginning to gather around them, wondering if they should jump in to help. He doesn’t hesitate in pressing a kiss to each of her skinned knees and patting her dark hair. Her sniffles slowly turn into a small smile with each kiss.

“Don’t worry, Kaiya,” Levi whispers, “I’ve got you.”


	4. a baby and a bad dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another prompt request- "I'm not going anywhere"

Levi had been reluctant from the beginning to leave Kaiya with Eren and Mikasa for the evening. On the flip side, it had been so long since you and Levi had been on a date together and you both missed each other. The longing glances, fleeting touches and cuddles weren’t quite cutting it.

Despite the delicious meal and glass of red wine in front of you, you both are thinking about Kaiya-

“Should I text Eren for an update?” You wonder out loud, “It’s been nearly two hours…”

“He would’ve texted us if anything was wrong,” Levi says unconvincingly. But he takes his phone out first to text both Eren and Mikasa. You roll your eyes fondly at him, reaching over to take some meat off of his plate when you think he isn’t looking. Of course, he notices. Eren replies instantly, with a photo of Kaiya looking at the camera with a big smile, all of her teeth on display. She’s in her favorite pajamas and they’re watching  _ My Neighbor Totoro _ , one of Kaiya’s recent favorites. She even has a Totoro toy, tucked carefully in her lap.

“See? Everything’s fine,” You murmur but your anxiety is alleviated at the picture of your baby.

“Yeah,” Levi sighs in relief. He puts his phone down for the rest of the night, taking in the way the dimmed lights bounce off of your hair and your skin, making your eyes look like jewels. You had worn one of his favorite dresses on you, it’s a pretty lilac shade with balloon sleeves. The way he looks at you makes you feel beautiful, like you’re the only woman in the world.

You graze his calf with your heeled foot with a smile. “See somethin’ you like?” You ask with an obnoxious wink.

“Yeah, I think this tres leches cake sounds good,” Levi says, lips quirking up at your affronted whining. 

“I meant  _ me _ ,” You roll your eyes, “Though, yes, that tres leches cake sounds way more tempting than even me in this dress.”

“Now that’s just not true,” Levi says, “You look lovely. I just know that you’re thinking with your sweet tooth, angel.”

“My man knows me so well,” You sigh dreamily, chin in the palm of your hands, “No wonder you got me pregnant.”

“Ma’am, I believe it was a mutual decision.”

“ _ Ma’am _ ?!”

Levi rolls his eyes at you fondly, reaching over the table to squeeze your hand. Once you both finish your plates and let the food digest, you order a slice of tres leches cake to share. Levi isn’t  _ that _ fond of sweets, but he might risk it all for a bite of a good tres leches cake.

This restaurant had raving reviews over its tres leches cake, which is why you had chosen it for date night.

You moan happily at the first bite of the cake, feeding Levi a piece off of your spoon before you even finish your own. 

“That’s damn good cake,” Levi murmurs, leaning forward to wipe a stray crumb from the corner of your lips.

“Even better than mine?” You ask coyly with a smirk.

“Come on, angel,” Levi says with a quirk of his eyebrow, “You know your cake is the  _ only _ cake for me.”

The innuendo isn’t lost on you and your face heats up. When you leave, Levi walks with you with a hand on the small of your back and his blazer around your shoulders. You’re so irrevocably  _ his _ , the scent of his cologne surrounding the both of you and encasing you in your own bubble.

Levi takes his time with you when you arrive home, his hands pliant but firm over your body. His touches light you up, his kisses feeding your flame. You’re reminded of his love once more, and he is reminded of yours.

***

By the time you go to Eren’s apartment to pick up Kaiya, it’s nearly eight in the evening. You’re certain she’s fighting off sleep, and from the picture that Mikasa had sent you, your suspicions were correct. She’s already asleep when you get to Eren’s apartment, tucked under her favorite blanket.

Levi interrogates Eren about Kaiya, making sure she had eaten her fruits and vegetables and hadn’t watched television until very late. She’s prone to nightmares when she watches tv late at night. Eren swallows nervously, reassuring you and Levi that Kaiya was nothing short of perfect.

“She’s a great kid,” Eren says, “Much like her parents-”

“Don’t be such a kiss ass, Eren,” You say, stifling your laugh. Eren looks at you with wide, green eyes, looking like a fish out of water.

“Close your mouth Eren, you’ll swallow a fly,” Levi says lightly, “Thank you both for watching Kaiya. We appreciate it.”

Levi tries to give them both money but they both refuse. You wish they’d accept it- after all, you had been a college student once. They’ve both helped you out more times than you can count.

Levi takes Kaiya in his arms, making sure the blanket is wrapped around her completely. You take her stuffed toy under your arm and wave Eren and Mikasa a final goodbye, with promises that you’ll take them out to lunch this week.

***

You’re fast asleep next to Levi in bed, having fallen asleep mid-kiss. But Levi is wide awake suddenly, hearing Kaiya’s rustling in her bed and her soft whines and whimpers.

He hears her start to cry and mutter in her sleep, and he hops out of bed instantly, sleep washed away at the sound of his baby’s distress. Kaiya is still asleep, her eyes squeezed closed. Levi’s heart lurches when she cries out again, crying out for him and for you.

Levi maneuvers himself into her bed, curling into her and cuddling her closely. He doesn’t want to wake her up abruptly and scare her more, so he waits for her to wake up on her own.

“Kaiya,” Levi murmurs, running a hand over her cheek and her forehead, “It’s just a bad dream. Gonna kill Eren for letting you watch tv late. Wake up, Kai. It’s okay.”

When Kaiya finally  _ does _ come out of her nightmare, she turns her head to look at Levi with big, dark eyes. 

“Daddy,” Kaiya coos sadly, “Bad dweam! Todo eat me, you an’ Mama!”

“Todo ate us? That’s okay.  **I’m not goin’ anywhere** , sweetheart,” Levi says, rubbing her back. He sits with her for a few minutes, letting her get acquainted with being awake. Levi rubs her arm and brings her into his lap, brushing his lips over her hair and her forehead for kisses. Kaiya giggles softly when he tickles her belly lightly and she holds his hand.

“Mama? Where mama?” Kaiya whispers, looking around her bedroom. 

“Let’s go find mama,” Levi says, scooping her up in his arms and bringing her Totoro toy with him.

“Daddy, that scawy,” Kaiya confesses and sighs when she sees you starting to wake up.

“What happened, baby?” You say, opening your arms to her. She jumps into your arms sleepily and you rub her back soothingly. 

“Bad dweam,” Kaiya sighs, already being lulled into sleep. 

“Totoro ate us,” Levi says flatly and you stifle a surprised laugh.

“Not Totoro…” You whisper and adjust Kaiya in your arms. She has your shirt fisted in her chubby fist as she sleeps quickly and you press a kiss to her forehead.

“It’s ‘cause Eren let her watch tv late,” Levi rolls his eyes. You swat his chest and keep Kaiya in between both of you, your hands intertwining with Levi’s over Kaiya’s back. You kiss Levi goodnight, snuggle close to both of them and Levi waits for both of his girls to fall asleep. He allows the veil of sleep to wash over him quickly.

  
  
  



	5. doubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s kaiya and levi’s birthday. and you have a proposition for levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i struggle with writing holiday themed things so this is the closest i could come up with. enjoy and happy holidays :)) check me out on tumblr @ vennilavee, we have fun there

Kaiya’s birthday being two days before Levi’s birthday was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because she  _ loved _ sharing her special day with Levi, and a curse because it hardly gave you time to think about what to get Levi for his own birthday.  _ And _ not to mention that their birthdays were both right in the middle of the holidays.

Every year since Kaiya was born, you and Levi at least put some multicolored lights around the house, spent a weekend decorating stockings to put over the mantle of the fireplace, and spent another weekend stringing lights up outside. You had even bought a five foot tall light up snowman for the front yard, which Kaiya had loved. She had nearly fallen over when she had seen it for the first time, and then immediately tried to hug it.

And Levi glared at it whenever he pulled out of the driveway. 

Even when it was just you and Levi, you’d both put some lights up around your previous apartment. That didn’t mean that Levi didn’t grumble about it the whole time.

For Kaiya’s third birthday this year, you had decided to combine her birthday party with a dinner for Levi over the weekend. And it worked out- Kaiya adores her father, and she had squealed when you asked if she would be okay with it. Levi had protested, not wanting to do  _ anything _ for his birthday and wanted to give his baby the spotlight. It’s her  _ third  _ birthday, after all. His baby girl’s third birthday. But he had relented when Kaiya looked at him with tear filled eyes and her hands clasped together in pleading-

_ “Pwease, daddy! I wanna hab birfday wif daddy!” _

And really, how could he ever say no to that? So you put Levi to work, asking him to pick up some gold and green glittery streamers the week before and some helium balloons the day of. Kaiya is with Erwin while you run around to pick up a small cake and other last minute party favors.

Kaiya had wanted a tea party with some of her toddler friends from the neighborhood park for her third birthday and if that doesn’t solidify that she’s Levi’s daughter, you don’t know what does. Her favorite colors right now were greens and yellows, and so that’s how the color scheme of the party goes. But you subtly include bits and pieces of Levi’s personality in there as well- with a silver birthday hat that you had bought specially for him and with his matte black teacup with his name engraved in gold lettering. 

She’s wearing a cute green glittery headband in her dark hair, black pants and a yellow long sleeve shirt with a big, glittery sunflower on it. 

She’s sunshine personified, Levi thinks. He matches her, with a dark green shirt and Kaiya gasps when you whisper to her that her daddy matched her-

“We gween!” Kaiya exclaims happily.

“We have the same birthdays, princess. Of course daddy will match you,” Levi murmurs, taking her in his arms and kissing her cheek.

It’s funny- Levi hardly  _ ever _ graced you with public displays of affection and vice versa. But when Kaiya came along, he’s become a little more fond of little pecks and soft displays of affection. Kaiya eats it up, with big eyes.

His eyes. Her eyes are so inexplicably a reflection of his. 

“Gween nice, daddy,” Kaiya says, squeezing her Totoro stuffed toy close to her chest.

“It is nice,” Levi agrees, “What else is green the color of?”

“Umm… sky!” Kaiya shouts confidently.

“Good job, princess,” Levi murmurs, gracing her with another kiss to the cheek.

It makes you soft. Watching him carry her to her tea party with her party of three. Her two friends are seated in plastic blue chairs around the play table, while their parents linger with snacks in their hands.

You could combust, watching Levi take a seat on the small plastic chair and tipping his head so Kaiya can place a tiara on his hair. He only gives the kids a soft look, letting them fawn over him. Kaiya’s friends each pour Levi some imaginary tea from the teapot and with soft, toothy grins, “Happy birfday Uncle Levi.”

You take a video and pictures of him to save for later.

***

Some snow still remains on the grass from a previous snowfall, covering your front and backyard in a pretty coat of paper white magic. Of course, by the time Kaiya’s friends leave and  _ your _ friends arrive for dinner, Kaiya is asking to build a snowman and make snow angels.

Levi bribes her with cookies to get her to stay inside with him. She had only just gotten over a terrible cold last week and the last thing anyone needed was for her to get sick. Kaiya sits on Erwin’s lap, listening intently to a story he’s telling her about a space princess. Erwin feeds her half of a cookie and she wordlessly chews on it with wide, curious eyes.

You had cut a small cake for Kaiya with her friends and had gotten a bigger cake for both Levi and Kaiya to cut together. It’s a lemon cheesecake and you  _ know _ both father and daughter will love it. Neither of them have a terribly fond sweet tooth, but this cake is  _ just _ the right amount of sweet.

After all, you had baked it.

When dinner is over and you’ve refilled glasses of spiced wine for everyone, you bring out the cake with a hearty start of singing ‘Happy Birthday’. Everyone chimes in, Hange with her arms around your shoulders and Kaiya beaming happily. She reaches for Levi and pats his cheek, as if to say ‘pay attention’.

“Hap birfday, daddy,” Kaiya whispers shyly.

“Happy birthday, Kai,” Levi murmurs and pats her forehead fondly. Levi moves to stand next to you and lets Kaiya blow out the candles for him. Levi holds his hand above yours as you cut a slice of cake into sections to feed to both him and Kaiya.

“When did you make this?” Levi asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, birthday boy,” You tease and feed Kaiya the first piece of cake. She gasps and claps her hands enthusiastically.

“Mommy, it yum,” Kaiya giggles. You kiss her cheek and wipe away some stray cream. 

“Wanna feed daddy, Kiki?” 

Kaiya nods and you help guide the fork to Levi’s mouth. “Thanks, Kai,” Levi says, “Can I feed you?” With another nod, Levi gives Kaiya a small bite. Not wanting to have a sugar rush later in the evening. And finally, you feed Levi a piece of cake, smiling at Erwin when he tells you all to look at him for a photo.

You’re tempted to smear some cake on Levi’s cheek, just to irritate him but you ultimately decide against it. After all, you have something you want to say to him later.

“Hey,” You murmur with a grin, “Happy birthday, my love.”

The tips of his ears tint pink and you pat his cheek before cutting more slices for everyone to have. Mike helps you pass out slices to everyone and you smile at him in thanks.

***

After everyone has had their fill of wine and cake, everyone begins to yawn and Kaiya even falls asleep in Erwin’s arms. It starts to flurry as well, light specks of white dotting the still air.

Your guests begin to leave after helping you clean up and after you give them leftovers to take home. After the hugs, happy birthdays, and promises that they’ll text you when they get home, Levi swiftly pulls you into his arms for a deep kiss, your knees buckling immediately.

“Is it my birthday?” You ask slyly, “You only kiss me like that when it’s my birthday.”

“That’s a fuckin’ lie,” Levi rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” You say dreamily, “It is. You wanna go to bed or have another glass of wine?”

Levi wordlessly pulls you into the bedroom after making sure Kaiya is asleep, dropping kisses up and down your neck. His lips muffle your soft sounds, his hands gripping the curve of your hips and sliding down to your ass. He undresses you easily, peeling you out of your blouse and unbuttons your jeans. 

You’re in no rush. You only press against him, hands traveling the expanse of his broad chest and squeezing lightly.

“I wanna tell you something,” You mumble weakly, lips deliciously close to his ear.

He hums in response, pulling away to look you in the eyes. A hand comes to rest against your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone.

“I love you,” You say earnestly, “But also. I want another kid. I wanna give Kai a sibling. I wanna make you a daddy again. Wanna give me a baby,  _ daddy _ ?”

Levi rolls his eyes at your use of the word, swatting your ass lightly. “Kaiya would be a good big sister. And… I’ve been thinking about it, too.”

“Why didn’t either of us say anything then?”

“The idea was  _ marinating-” _

“ _ Marinating? _ Don’t say that the idea of a second baby was  _ marinating _ like meat in the fridge,” You joke, swatting his chest, “I was trying to be cute, by telling you on your birthday celebration. And you just compared our second baby to marinade-”

“I wanna make us parents again,” Levi whispers, cutting you off, “Want some of my marinade?”

“Do I ever,” You grin, licking a stripe up his neck, “So a second kid? You ready for it?”

“Are you ready for it? Are we ready for it?”

“I’m ready if it’s with you, my love,” You say softly, with a smile, “I’m ready for anything if it’s with you.”


	6. lighthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after you and levi decide to try for another baby, things become a little complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is something way new, i hope you guys like it! someone on tumblr (@vennilavee) sent an ask saying that this couple is perp couple but grown so i kinda wrote this thinking about moon/stars couple being perp couple but grown lmao but kept that pretty vague too. enjoy

From the moment that you and Levi had confessed to each other that you wanted to have another baby and give Kaiya a sibling, it had quickly turned into you and Levi having sex wherever and whenever you could. Before Kaiya woke up, after Kaiya went to bed, you coming home for lunch (or really, for an afternoon delight), in the shower, in his office… anywhere you could. 

It had been fun and thrilling for a while- the excitement of it all had you on your toes. And after all, you couldn’t get enough of your man and he couldn’t get enough of you.

His favorite place to be was between your legs.

But then weeks started going by. Then months. And you kept getting your period every month, on schedule. Each month felt like a blow to the gut, but you still were optimistic. It happened with Kaiya right, as a happy accident? It’ll _surely_ happen, now that you and Levi were actively planning for this. 

And then it doesn’t. Your period kept coming, and every month, pieces of you began to chip away. Were you being dramatic? It takes time for people to become pregnant, right? Maybe you should just wait it out. 

But then everything starts to feel so… unlike what it felt like before. You can feel yourself pulling away from him and withdrawing. You can feel him withdrawing, too.

Every time his cum shoots into you, you feel empty.

The seeds of doubt begin to plant in your mind once six months go by. Then seven, then nine months… then it’s almost a year since you and Levi have started actively trying.

Finally, you can’t. You can’t take it anymore. It feels like too much, even when he’s inside you, you can’t look him in the eye. Because every time Levi meets your eyes, you can’t help but think of the future. A future that you seem to be unable to bring to fruition-

_“Stop, stop, Levi,” You plead and he immediately pulls out of you. Concern is written all over your face, his hands immediately cupping your cheek._

_“Did I hurt you?” Levi asks. You only shake your head and pull your clothes on hastily. You don’t look him in the eye as you scramble out of bed, leaving him confused._

_“I can’t,” You shake your head, “Gonna sleep in Kaiya’s bed tonight. I just… I can’t.”_

_And that’s how it remains for a few nights. Levi gives you space, which you’re grateful for. He has an inkling of what’s going on, but doesn’t want to push you._

_Because he feels lost, too. He had seen your sad eyes week to week, month to month. Until they became all he saw._

_Should it be taking this long to become pregnant? He had searched on the Internet, and everything was so subjective. Dependent on the people. Maybe it’s him, he wonders._

_But the last fertility specialist they had seen had said that it wasn’t them. Maybe it was stress. Maybe it was everything._

_But maybe a break would be good. It was never meant to hurt like this, after all. It was never meant to leave an aching hole in his heart. It was never meant to put tears in your eyes._

***

It takes time for you both to find each other again, and perhaps that is the beauty of love. You both somehow gravitate towards each other, even if you’re not actively seeking each other out.

Even Kaiya had noticed the tension between you and Levi. Kids are so smart, picking up on everything and everything. That’s your baby. The thought of her big eyes asking Levi if he was okay sends your heart into a frenzy.

A crack of thunder and the comforting hum of the rain pulls you out of your already fitful sleep. You know Levi is awake, from the way he shifts in bed and presses himself to your side further. And also because he’s such a light sleeper.

His nose brushes against the back of your neck lightly, a hand ghosting over your hips then your thigh. It’s hesitant. Not like what you’re used to.

Levi is plastered to your side but you still feel a world of hurt and pain in between you both. Before you can help it, your throat is dry with a lump that you can’t swallow down and your eyes fill with tears that you can’t blink away.

You want to turn and look at him, you want to hold him. Because you know he’s hurting too, just like you. But you can’t bring yourself to. Something that feels like shame curls in your belly, but there is nothing to be shameful for. You can already hear Levi’s voice in your ear, gently scolding you for your thoughts.

“Levi,” You mumble, close to a sob.

“‘M here, angel,” Levi says, tightening his hold around you. His lips brush against the back of your neck. And you can’t take it, you can’t take the distance between you both.

Another rumble of thunder has you jump in his arms, and finally you turn to face him. His steel eyes are as steady as ever, always holding the balance of your universe in his irises.

You’ve been so quiet, so contemplative the last few weeks. Levi has tried to break through this wall, so you both can be sad together. But you seemed to be insistent on carrying this all on your own, when it wasn’t only yours to carry. He knows the pain is different for you than it is for him. But don’t you know that you don’t have to carry it alone? Don’t you know that you can lean on him?

And you know it, too. You know you’ve been pushing him away and hurting him. But you can’t help it, not when you feel like you’ve been in pieces. Not when you feel so tired and defeated.

The rain is soothing and paired with his steady heartbeat, you feel clouds beginning to part slightly in your mind. Maybe a ray of sunshine that breaks through fleetingly. 

The palms of Levi’s warm hands are loose over your back as he comforts you, his fingers lightly ghosting over the exposed skin of your hips and your belly. You both lay there in silence, but even this silence feels like more of a comfort than the air that surrounded you both for the last few weeks.

It makes you choke. You let out another sob. But he doesn’t push you to talk. You’ll talk when you’re ready. And Levi thinks you’re _almost_ there.

You snake a hand around his neck, scratching your nails through his undercut absently. The desire to feel close to him overwhelms you and you tighten your arms around him. Your lips hover over his pulse, a steady thrum. He feels your lips press gently against his throat.

“Tell me,” Levi begs softly, “Don’t leave me behind.”

You don’t feel like running anymore.

“We’ve been trying for months,” You say bluntly, “What if it’s not meant to be? I know the docs said that we’re both fine… But what if it’s me? What then?”

_What if I can’t give you what we both want? What if- what if- what if? Does it make me less of a person?_

You know it doesn’t. But seeds of the unknown have planted themselves in your blood, and you can’t shake it away as hard as you try.

Levi already knows where your thoughts are going. He already knows your unspoken words, because they’re the same thoughts he’s been having lately, too.

But he won’t let you both succumb to it.

“And sometimes...I feel like,” You stammer, “I feel so _far_ from you. And I don’t like it, but I know I did this. I pushed you away-”

You start to cry, tears tracking down your cheeks and Levi pulls you into his chest. Your tears soak his shirt, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you _finally_ get it out. Levi’s own throat becomes dry at the sound of your cries but all he can do is hold you.

“We both lost ourselves ,” You say hoarsely, “Sex became a chore, an end goal. Rather than it being about... Maybe it’s a psychological thing, I don’t know…”

And it’s true, Levi thinks. For the last few months, you’ve both been meticulous about when to have sex- it felt too clinical, without any of the magic from before. Because you both were thinking so hard about having a baby, that you both let the magic disappear. It wasn’t like either of you, but it had happened.

And now you’re both hurting.

Levi cradles your cheek with his hand. “So let’s stop trying with having an end goal in mind,” He says softly, “Just be with me and I’ll be with you. We lost ourselves… and now neither of us are okay. If it happens, it’ll happen.

“And we don’t love each other and ourselves any less if it _doesn’t_ happen, alright?”

More tears spill over and you murmur a soft apology into his lips. Levi always knows what to say, what you both need. He shakes his head firmly, pressing chaste kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your chin.

“I love you,” You mumble into his mouth, tears pricking your eyes again. It’s a soft confession, a confession that he already holds close to his heart. But still never fails to make him warm from the inside. 

“I love you,” You whisper again as his hands roam. He just wants to be close to you, to feel you and fall in love with you all over again. 

Levi pulls your shirt off easily and pushes you on your back, bracketing your head with his forearms. He hovers above you, molten silver eyes peering right through you. It’s a look on his face that you’ve missed. You tug at his shirt impatiently, too, wanting to feel his skin against yours. 

He drops his weight on top of you- he knows how comforting this feels for you. To feel him all around you. Nothing will ever compare to that for you. Levi cradles your face in his rough hands, determination burning his irises.

You hold his wrist as he silently watches you. Another flash of lightning illuminates the pretty planes of your face, sadness clear in your eyes and pain tight in the lines of your mouth.

“I love you,” Levi murmurs thickly, “Do you understand? I love you. Always.” A fresh wave of tears blooms in your eyes at the sincerity dripping from his voice. Levi has always given you the moon, and this time is no different. “What do you need, baby?” Levi rasps.

He always puts you in front of his needs, always putting everyone else above himself. Always calming you down, always holding steady for you. Your lighthouse in the storm.

“What do _you_ need,” You ask breathily, “What do you need, baby?”

“You,” Levi says simply, “Just you.”

“You have me,” You reply, fingers trailing his toned chest, “You always have me. We always come back to each other.”

“Just be here with me,” Levi breathes, “Nothing else but us, angel.”

You nod and Levi presses his lips to the corner of your mouth, hands cupping your face tenderly, and slips his tongue into your mouth. He kisses you like he’s trying to take the pain away and bury it deep within himself. So you’ll never have to feel it- but you kiss him back with just as much fervor.

He’ll never carry his pain alone, and you won’t either.

“Can I touch you?” Levi asks, nudging your cheek with his nose.

“ _Yes_ ,” You exhale. 

Levi presses wet kisses to your neck, to your chest, your clavicle, your belly, your hips. He takes his time mapping your body with his light hands and with his lips. Each touch of his ignites your skin, slowly piecing you back together. While you know that him and him _alone_ is not enough to make you feel okay, it’s a nice start. He’s touching you, he’s kissing you as if you’re made of diamonds- precious but tough. 

His hands are burning over your hips, burning in the best way. Tendrils of desire flash in your belly, seemingly in time with the flashes of lightning surrounding you both. The 2:30 AM glow of the storm makes the shadows on Levi’s face softer, unspoken adoration clear in the pout of his lips.

You just want him. You just want to be close to him. You scratch at his lower abs teasingly, one of his favorite weak spots. He groans into your thighs as he finds his way home to your center.

You memorize the feeling of him in between your legs, of your hands sliding up and down his back, of your fingers tugging at his dark hair. You can feel his cock press against your inner thigh when he lifts himself up to kiss you.

“Baby,” You say gently, “Want you inside, baby.”

Levi is about to protest, swiping a hand in between your legs to see how wet you are. You’re usually much wetter when he slides inside you, but you only look at Levi in that disarming way. 

“Just wanna be close with you, baby,” You confess. And Levi won’t deny you, but he wants you to be a little wetter for him. So he kisses you, grinds into you, circles your clit until you’re sighing into the empty air with only the rain as the backdrop to your voice. 

“Slow, angel. Just you ‘n me,” Levi whispers into your skin, promises of love pressed into your thighs.

“Levi,” You whine quietly, “ _Please_ …”

He won’t keep you waiting. “On your side,” Levi instructs and you comply immediately. Levi pulls your leg back a little when you turn to face away from him. He wraps his arms around you tightly, snaking a hand down to your pussy and rubbing your clit. You buck your hips into his cock impatiently and he exhales in amusement.

Levi parts your thighs and slides into your wet heat easily, both of you sighing at the same time. He doesn’t move, only feeling the warmth of your pussy around him and only listening for your quiet hums of pleasure. Levi buries his head in your neck, your quickened pulse echoing in his ears.

He only kisses your neck, his heated lips the only constant you’ll ever need. He tastes your bleeding heart through your pulse, the faint thrum leading him to tighten his hold around you. 

You can _feel_ his love, feel it rushing in your own veins and setting you abuzz. Emotions overwhelm you, spilling over in your eyes and onto your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” You sob, “You needed me and I-I wasn’t...I wasn’t there. I wasn’t _here_.”

“Stop that,” Levi murmurs gently, fingers pressing very lightly at your throat, “We’re here now.”

“Are we okay?”

A crack of thunder.

“ _Yes_ ,” Levi says honestly, “Don’t have to hide from me. We don’t even have to cum. Just wanna feel you, angel. Wanna remind you… we’re _here_.”

So you stay in his arms as he throbs inside of you. It’s soothing to feel him like this. To feel him all around you and be completely surrounded by his love. It makes you stronger, makes you want to _be_ the best version of yourself. That’s what Levi has always been for you.

The rain still hasn’t let up. Levi tilts your jaw towards him, pulling you in for a sweet, slow kiss. You feel like you’re moving through golden honey with every gentle caress and every soft kiss. 

You thread your fingers through his and squeeze. “I love you,” You breathe again.

“I know, angel. I love you,” Levi says, biting back a groan when you clench around him.

For a minute, everything feels like it’ll be okay. And maybe it will. But you know with Levi by your side, everything _will_ be okay eventually.

***

Kaiya is nearly five years old, about to start kindergarten, when Levi picks up on the signs. You’re beginning to crave some of the same things you did when you were pregnant with Kaiya, and you’ve been losing your temper at the smallest things lately (also like when you were pregnant with Kaiya). You’ve also been emotional, more emotional than usual, over the most mundane things. Levi gets you your socks without you asking? You tear up. Levi puts Kaiya’s hair in space buns after her interest had been piqued by Star Wars? You bawl.

He wonders if you’re even suspicious. 

Levi doesn’t want to jump the gun just yet- it had taken so long to get to this level of comfort. To not be actively trying for another baby, and to just allow for things to take their own course. _If it happens, then it happens_. That’s what he had said to you.

He thinks it’s happening. 

By the end of the week, he doesn’t know how you don’t see it. 

***

“When was the last time you had your period,” Levi asks bluntly. You’re currently washing your face after putting Kaiya to bed. She’d gone down quickly, tired out from a playdate with some of her friends.

“Huh?”

“Your period. You’re late, aren’t you?” Levi asks easily, crossing his arms and standing against the doorframe.

Levi watches as realization, acceptance and anxiety all flit across your face. “I...I’m-uh,” You stammer, “I’m a few days late...”

“I thought so,” Levi says. Silence fills the air, your eyes widening and your lips parting in surprise. He watches you process your thoughts and feelings, before fear and a drop of excitement and hope settle in your eyes.

“That’s...something,” You mumble, “Will you make the appointment with me?”

“Of course, angel.”

***

It’s no surprise to Levi when the obstetrician tells you both that you’re a few weeks along. It’s no surprise to him that you immediately burst into tears and sob into his shoulder either.

And if his eyes are a little misty, then that’s nobody’s business.

When the doctor gives you a warm smile and a moment to yourselves, you immediately hold Levi’s hands.

“I’m scared,” You admit, “We did it, but I’m scared.”

Levi pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that? Anything could happen-”

“We take it day by day,” Levi hushes you, “Day by day, angel. With each other and with Kaiya.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
